We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
