The best revenge is premature balding
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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