what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Drake has all the answers
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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