I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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