i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize