you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
