I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
