I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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