would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
