I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
