Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
