whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
