i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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