i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
