He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
