I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
