where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Porn is love you can see.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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