I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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