I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
