You're so nebulous sometimes
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
