Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
