Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
