Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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