She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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