thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
