I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
it hurts more in the daytime
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
