He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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