He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Randomize
