Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
