If that was your dad, he is hot
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
