I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
