I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
