I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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