you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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