this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
