my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
