The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
