Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
