Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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