fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
