You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
