Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
