Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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