i don't like sucking hair
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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