The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
