I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
