Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
