this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i now understand why vodka
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
