Where did you get a picture of my penis
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
