so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were destined to go to rehab together
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
