Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
