Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize