i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize