i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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