So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
