Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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