I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
