normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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