At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
