You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
