I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize