"it" just moved
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
