even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize