Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
