I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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