Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
