Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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