We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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