i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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